Aquila News: Tom Kirby Steps down as GW Chairman

AQUILA NEWS!

Today the Gaming world was shaken to its squishy core when Mr. Tom Kirby, GW Chairman of the Board and ex-CEO stepped down from his position at the miniatures manufacturer.




Tom's Rise to the top of the food chain at GW was finalized when he led a takeover of the company from the management.  Fully half the legions of managers were said to follow under his banner.  After taking control of the company and putting himself on the golden throne of CEO/Chairman he lead a rule of conusion that saw most of the loyal primarchs game designers flee the company.

In a press release put out last night he stated.

 "I was visited last night by three ghosts.  One was the ghost of GW past where 

gamers gathered together to talk about how much fun they were having and

how they loved our GT circuit and great prices.  After this I was visited by the

ghost of GW present during which my own employees based the sculpt of 

the 'arch-traitor,' Horus off of my likeness. At first I thought it was cool,
but then I read the stories about Horus and how he ruined the Imperium and then
I figured out that my employees thought I was Horus and I felt dumb.
After this I was visited by the ghost of GW future and I saw a future ruled by
Warmachine and Infinity and it made me want to change myself.  
I new I had to leave, for the betterment of the company."

It isn't a compliment when your likeness is used to represent the
Arch-Traitor! 

The remaining board members of GW, along with the current (and remaining) CEO stated that they "... (are) Relieved that he is (finally) stepping down because now they can start doing things that other 'real companies,' do. "  When asked to elaborate the CEO replied "Ummm, you know, like marketing and elastic pricing."

Reportedly the first act of the remaining staff was to tear down a giant effigy of Kirby in the GW Lobby which featured him in a terminator suit of armor and the earth in the palm of his hand.

With this news Australia rejoiced as it is anticipated that their exile will soon come to an end and trade will resume as usual.  One Gamer summed up the feelings of the world when he stated "Finally, this company can start doing thing that make sense instead of just making us all scratch our heads...One man stores? come on!"

-Aquila News- 

The gaming worlds best (fake) News source.